Akatsuki Opposites
by madadeidei
Summary: This is a story about the Akatsuki of course! But what would happen if they were opposite? like a hyper active Deidara? Or a vegitarian Zetsu? Find out!
1. Introduction to the oppositeness!

**Me: okay...My other story is really weird and is in jeporady of being deleted...**

**Tobi: So Tobi jr does not own Akatsuki or Naruto! **

**Deidara: Tobi! Did you memorize your script?**

**Me: Deidara! nouz! This is reality and is not scripted!!!!!**

**Tobi: sure...suuuuuure Tobi jr just like all the other "reality shows"**

**Deidara: YEA! since this is a story about oppositness Tobi won't annoy me **

**anymore! un!**

**Me: okay...*sigh* on with the show!!!!!! oh yeah...kohai is the opposite of **

**sempai just in case ya didn't kno!**

**--------------------------------------------------------------**

**"**KOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!",Deidara ran as fast as he could through the hallways of the Akatsuki base looking for his ! Deidara ran right into Hidan!

"Owie! Are you alright Deidara~chan?",Hidan looked Deidara over for any injuries

"It's okaziez! Deidara is fine cause Deidara is a good boy! :D"

"That he is!", Hidan then happily skipped away! (oh wow 0.o that's really hard to

imagine...)

"Deidara must resume his mission! KOHAI!!!!!!!",He shouted loud enough to be heard all over the base. Just then Itachi decided to check on the blonde

"Hi DeiDei~chan!",Itachi,yes Itachi then put a HUGE grin on his face as he greeted

Deidara,"Do you need any help?"

"Have you seen where Kohai is?"

"oooooh! I think he's in his roo-"

"Bye Everyone! I'll be back in an hour! just gotta bring all this money to the charity

down the street! :D",Kakazu yelled.

"EVERYONE BE QUIET!!!!!!!!!! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU ALL

HAVE TO BE SO #$%$# NOISY IN THE MORNING????!!!!!!!!!!!"

"looks like Kohai's awake.",Deidara sighed,"I'm gonna bring him some panacakes!Cause Dediara's a good boy!",He then ran past Itachi to go make some panacakes."Hmmm...let's see...I wonder what happened to the recipe for panacakes..." Deidara mumbled.

"Dei~chan!!!!! Pain ate the recipies and all the flour again!!!!!!...apparently he thought

that if he added those girl scouts with flour and the recipes for all the good food

that it would get rid of the cookie taste in them..." Kisame stated.

"...I guess I'll just have to make up a recipiemyself then...",Deidara then started to look in the kitchen for ingredients," ooh! how bout some Ketchup chips! those are Kohai's favorite! and some of these raisens Zetsu left on the floor! (suspicious aren't they? lol!)

----------------1 hour later------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Kohai!" Deidara merrily greeted Tobi

"What do you want now Deidara? I'm busy!",In fact Tobi wasn't all that busy he was just staring into space with who knows what going through his head...

"But I brought you some delicious panacakes!",He then held out the "panacakes"for Tobi to see.

"Are you trying to poison me?!",Tobi yelled,"OU-"

"Attention everyone! There will be an emergency meeting in the living room...well right now! So come over there or something! And can someone bring me something to eat? I'm starving! that's all!"

"Deidara! Give those to Pain-kun,he'll eat anything",Tobi ordered while getting up to go to the meeting.

"B-but...*sob* they were f-for you...k-k-kohai *sniff* ",Deidara then started heading to the living room...skipping...while singing,"We're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz!"

--------------------in the living room---------------------------------------------------

"Okayz! So everyone's here but Kakazu...oh well! :D We'll have the meeting without him...he'd probably just...nevermind!" Pain announced,"So anyways the writer of this story is too lazy to think of anything original sooooooo it's gonna be a cliche!!!!

yayz!"

"But Pain~chan! Kisame's allergic to cliches!",Itachi remarked.

"Does it look like i care? even in this opposite dime-"

"WAFFLES!!!!!!!!", Deidara shreiked while throwing the "panacakes" at Pain.

"What was that for?!"

"Well Deidara was being a good boy! Cause you said you were hungry!"

"yeah! hungry for something edibl-"

"FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!",Konan yelled at the top of her lungs. Itachi picked up a loaf of bread,being a ninjas of course food fights can kill. 0.o

----------------end of chapie!----------------------------------------------------------

**Me: okay...that was odd...**

**Tobi: *sniff* why is Tobi a b-bad boy?**

**Me: it's okay Tobi! *pats on back***

**Deidara:WHADAYA MEAN IT'S OKAY UN?????!!!!!!! I'M NOT SOME **

**ANNOYING LITTLE CRYBABY LIKE TOBI!!!!!!**

**Me: ...**

**Tobi: *WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* *CRY* *sniff***

**Me: ...sooo plz reveiw! :D**

**ps:the next chapter will be about the deadly ninja food fight! :D**


	2. The Food Fight Of Doom!

**Me: Hi everyone! Wow! This is my first story to make it to chapter 2! **

**Tobi: Yayz! **

**Deidara: I'll do the disclaimer un: 'Tobi jr' *bunny ears* does not and never will own Naruto or the Akatsuki...NEVER! **un...

**------------------------------------------------------------**

Itachi picked up the closest peice of food he could find,a loaf of bread...OF DOOM! With all his amazing ninja skillage Itachi threw the loaf like a kuinai knife it scratched the stitches on Dediara's arm causing it to fall off,"UWA! oh that's it Itachi~chan! you're go'n down!"

"In your dreams clay boy!",picking up left over ketchup chips from the 'panacakes' Deidara threw them all at Itachi who managed to dodge all of them! They whizzed by Konan and were deflected by Tobi who just stood there...The ketchup chips flew right back towards Zetsu,"Behold the power of the Mangyekyo Sharingan!"Itachi's eyes widened he started to push Zetsu out of the way to get to the kitchen. Just then the chips sprayed horrble ketchup powder into Itachi's widened Mangyekyo eyes,"UUGH!",Itachi stumbled over Zetsu. He landed really hard on his knees,"OW! DEAR JASSHIN~SAMA! I THINK I'M BLIND!"

"MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!",Sasori started laughing uncontrolably when a flying brussil sprout came hurdling straight at him! BLAM! The brussil sprout cracked Sasori's pupppet body,"CURSE YOU EVIL BRUSSIL SPROUTS!!!!!! CURSE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!",Sasori pick up a tomato throwing it towards somehow didn't notice the tomato,"OOH! a nickel!",Pain bent down to pick up the nickel. The tomato smashed through the window and hit an innocent old granny.

Just then Orochimaru was walking by when he noticed the tomato breaking through the window...wait a brocken window? In the Akatsuki base?! This could be his big chance!Orochimaru rushed over to the window and jumped in,"Hi guys! I forgives ya! Can I please rejoi-", BAM!!!! BAM!!! BAM!!! everyone stopped. There was a moment of dead silence.

"Let me come in!"

"Not by the hairs on our chinny chin chin!",Zetsu replied. Everyone just stared at him.

"What? **It was in a book we read. **yeah!"

"Isn't that a children's book?",Tobi remarked as he went to the other room to answer the door. The after math of the fight was horrid.

"Heeey...weren't we supposed to announce the horrible cliche adventure? But we somehow ended up having a food fight that cause Itachi to go blind,Sasori is now afraid of brussel sprouts and...wait a minute...OROCHIMARU?!",Kisame fainted at the sight of the snake dude.

"Orochimaru? Where?", Itachi started feeling around for him.

"Hey...wonder what's taking Kohai so long?",Deidara was puzzled so he went to go see what Tobi was up to...walking to the other room with the main entrance he was Tobi talking to some old lady who had a tomato lodged in her head...haha! food fight...

"NO! We will not give you money just because you were so busy stalking us that you didn't notice the tomato coming straight at you and caused you to get mortaly wounded!",Tobi shouted at the old lady so loud that everyone else came in to check on the situation.

"Fine! Have it your way!", The old lady started to peel off...what?!

----------------------------end of chapie!!!!!!!!!!!!-------------------------------------

**Me: Ciff hangers of DOOM!!!!!! That was short...srry! I'll try to make my chapters longer!**

**Tobi: The old lady is scawy!**

**Deidara: Tobi we're S-ranked criminals! What can some old lady do to us?hmm**

**Me: oh...they can do more than you think!**

**NEXT TIME: THE OLD LADY'S TRUE IDENTITY REVEALED!**


	3. The Old Lady's Identity Revealed!

**Me: Hi!!!!! Hi everyone!!! **

**Tobi: Tobi is tired...**

**Deidara:*whisper* Yes! the pills worked hmm...**

**Me: Deidara? What did you just sa-**

**Deidara: N-nothing! un! So anyways! Tobi jr can only dream of the day that she "pursudes" Kishimoto-San to give her Akatsuki...yeah**

**-------------------------------------------------------**

The old lady started to peel off her...MASK?! To reveal...dundundun!!!! Jojo the Magical Hobo!!!!! *gasp!*

"O...M...J.....So anyways...Tobi? What do you look like without your mask?",Pain questioned. Everyone then turned their attention to Tobi.

"...Well you se-"

"Woah woah woah! Hold it right there!",Orochimaru put his hands on his hips,"Here me an Jojo The Magical Hobo make these awesome entrances and you guys just go and ignore us?"

"Orochimaru...you just crawled in through a broken window during our food fight if death that no one seemingly died from,what kind of an entrance is that? you could learn ALOT from Jojo.",Sasori just smiled and turned back to the interesting convo about Tobi that everyone else including Jojo The Magical Hobo had continued.

"And they wonder why I quit..."

"WOW! Kohai is so cool!" Deidara gasped.

"Can I have your atograph?!" Hidan went all fangirl and started jumping around squeeling!

"Tobi has an announcement! Ima gonna be normal Tobi again!"

"But you can't Tobi~chan! It's against the laws!",Kisame yelled into Jojo's ear.

"Kisame?Why did you ju- I'm over hear you kno? remember Itachi's the blind one?" Tobi just stood there shaking his head in disaproval.

"But I'm deaf and I've always wanted to yell in a hobo's ear ever since I was a little girl!"

"Since When were you deaf Kisame~chan???",Itachi blankly "stared" at Kisame.

"I'M DEAF BECAUSE YOU LIKE...mushroomz!"

...

"awww...FINE THEN!!!!!"Tobi hissed and ran to his room.

"That kid scares me...",Jojo The Magical Hobo stated

"HE TALKS!!!!!!",Konan ran up to Jojo and slapped him!,"JOJO! I'VE JUST DECIDED THAT YOU CAN NEVER TALK! CAUSE FROM THIS DAY ON YOU'RE OFFICIALLY A M-U-T-E!!!!!!!"

" Oh Jasshin no! Everyone knos that Kisame is allergic to m-u-t-e people!",Itachi yelled at the wall while continuously punching...the wall....

"I am? Oh! I mean I am!" Kisame ran behind Itachi then Itachi freaked

"Sauske! Good little brother! you have enough Carebear points to buy me a new CAR!",Itachi whipped around and started beating Kisame.

"YAYZ!!!!! That means it's Tuesday! Akatsuki Game Night!",Deidara ran over to the game closet,"Hey! Who ate all teh games?"Everyone looked at Pain.

"What? I was sick of playing pictionary! All you people drew were monkeys eating Hobos!"

"Hey! I heard that!", Jojo slapped Pain accross the face.

"That means the only games we can play are either Chess, Croqute (The game with the hammers and the balls that go throught teh hoop thingys i think...) or Truth or Dare...",Kakuzu said pushing Jojo out of the door and stepped in.

"Let's Play them all at teh same time!!!!!" Deidara cheered!

"YAYZ!!!Let's play in the back yard!!!"

As they got all the equiptment Tobi got the waivers ready...

---------------------outside---------------------------------------------------------

"Before we start I want you all to sighn these forms to say that if you die while playing this game,which is almost certain, that I get all your money and no one will sue.",Tobi then started handing out all the forms and pens.

**5 minutes later**

"I'll start!!!!!",Kakuzu yelled." Konan! Truth or Dare?"

"umm...Dare!"

"Do Monkey's eat food?!"

"yes!"

Everyone then shouted,"WRONG!!!!!!"

" Oh sweet Jasshin!!!!!"Konan freaked!,"Deidara!"

"OKAY!" Deidara held up a small hoop above his head. Konan nodded. Kakazu pitched the ball. Using the hammer she hit it straight into the hoop. GOAL!!!

"YES! Now I'll Ask! Pain! Do you have a four?!"

Pain checked his hands...oh Jasshin...he shook his head. Everyone nodded. ,"Bishop to E5!"

Pain ran over to the chess boared in the middle of the field. NO! He was having the worst luck!

"Check mate!" Pain called.

Tobi Then shouted, "FIGHT!!!!!! GO!!!!" jumping with blinding speed everyone went for a mid air battle...exept for Jojo...he could only feebily throw croqute balls at them but would miss...all the time

"KOHAI! TRUTH OR DARE?!",Deidara questioned above the noise as he flew towards Tobi.

"GO FISH!!!!!!!" Tobi smashed Deidara's face with his hammer causing ppoor Deidara to fall to the ground. Deidara then started to battle Jojo!

"What's your real name 'Jojo?!",The blonde asked the old man.

"tch! It's Joshiellainejomama!"he shouted. Everyone dropped down from the air to look at Jojo.

"BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!! haha! you guys all owe me $100!" Zetsu cackled.

"Crackers...",Hidan mumbled. Jojo laid down in defeat.

"Am I missing something here? I mean first you people started a stupid game that ultimaltley made no sense and now paaparently it was all for Jojo to reveal his true name?!"Orochimaru huffed then stormed off.

"What's his prob?",Kakuzu asked.

"iunno." shrugging his shoulders Zetsu greedily grabbed the money from everyone's hands exept Kakazu...

"rrg...can't...but must...have..to..I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE ACTING!!! I CAN'T ACT LIKE I HATE MONEY!! I LURVE IT AND AM PROUD OF IT!!!",Kakazu screamed.

"Kakuzuu! take that back before the people notice!"Pain hissed!,"The author can do cruel things to a person if you don't take it back and keep acting..." Pain tried to whisper into Kakazu's ear so we can't hear...what a sad attempt.

"_**I am the writer! Kakazu! keep acting or else!"**_

"NEVER! Besides what's the worst you can think of?" Just then Kakazu found himself in a ballarina suite,locked in a cage with all af his fan girls while he watched all of his money be deemed worthless and shredded by the banker person."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I tried to warn him...poor guy...",Pain and everyone else went inside to have some nice goodies for listening to me and being kind enough to continue acting for my fanfic.

"YAY!!!! GOODIES!!!!!!"Deidara ran over and stared eating.

"Hey can I live here?",Jojo asked.

"Sure. You can have Kakazu's old room. Just throw all his stuff away...he won't be needing it anymore...poor guy...fan girls...*shiver* ",Pain said as he walked over to all the delicious goodies.

"YAY! I'm not homeless anymore!"

----------------------end of chapie--------------------------------------------

**Me:alls well that ends well! :) well exept for Kakazu...fangirls...lol**

**Tobi: RIP Kakuzu~chan**

**Deidara: 0.o**

**Me: Tobi I won't let the fangirls maul him to death**

**Tobi: yay! Tobi jr has a heart!**

**Deidara: heeey...didn't Joshiellainejomama *snicker* get banned from talking?**

**Me: yeaaaaaah**

**Deidara: Why did he then?**

**Me:...umm...SO thx for reading everyone! pwease reveiw!**

**NEXT TIME!:**

**Life With Joshiellainejomama!**


	4. Complete Nonsense!

**Me: Wow! So i finally decided to update! ...yeaaaaah...**

**Tobi: Tobi jr! Jojo really scares me!!!!**

**Jojo: Hiya kiddies!**

**Deidara: *twitch***

**Jojo: Ima hobo *pats Tobi on the head***

**Tobi: EEEP! *hides behind Deidara***

**Jojo: Soz...whaz your name 'gain? *poits at me***

**Me: umm...just call me Tobi jr...0.o**

**Jojo: Soz iz wuz try'n ta sayz dat whats your face over dere dosn't own Naruto and they don't own me either! iza belongs ta one of yer friendses**

**Me,Tobi and Deidara: *back away slowly* 0.o *RUN!!!!!!!!!!!***

**________________________________________________________**

**"JOJO!!!!! GET AWAY FROM MY EMPTY POP CAN!!!!! IT'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!"**,Pain started chasing Jojo around the living room for an empty pop can.

"Iza meebs it doh!!!!", Jojo looked back at Pain and gave him a pitifull attempt of the puppy dog face...Pain took one look and stopped. BAM! The leader passed out and fell right on his face...0.o (What did ya expect? I mean imagine an old greasy 45 year old man who's last 'bath' was weeks ago and it was apparently getting licked by a dog which seems to count as a bath to Jojo,who also looks like he's a hundred years old and...well the rest you really don't wanna kno...)"KWAKYAKYAKYAKYA!!!!! Iza nows is five cents richer den 1 hour ago!",Jojo jumped around in victory and ran back to his room. Tobi coutiously stepped out of his hiding place under the...couch? do NOT ask me how he fits under there...Tobi took one look at Pain and shook his head in disaproval.

"IS LEADER~SAMA OKAZIEZ?????!!!!!!!!" A startled Deidara rushed over to Pain and glomped him,"Are you still alive????" shaking him around Deidara started to wail,"LEADER~SAMA! DON'T DIE!!!" Tobi walked over.

"He's in...a coma!?" dun dun duuuun!,"....Now what?"

"...Deidara thinks it's time for WRITER'S BLOCK POWERS TO ACTIVATE!!!!!!!!!!!"

WHOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!

"SHADOW CLONE NO JUTSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!" *POOF!* another Tobi! ( YAYZ! TIME FOR TOBI FANS TO CELEBRATE!)

"YAYZ! ANOTHER KOHAI!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Now I can ressume being...Uchiha Madara.",Tobi number one ripped off his mask.

"U-U-Uchiha?!" Deidara glared at Madara..."Why didn't you tell me Kohai? I LUVS UCHIHAS!!!!!!!"

"omj...oh knoz! if Ima Madara...that means that i have to be the opposite of me and be hyper just like you and everyone else...NOOOOOOOOUUUUZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!"

__________________Madara_________________________________

"_Oh Jasshin no! now i have to humor them and act...as always...0.o i don't think i can handle it!!!......SUGAR!!!!!!!!!"_

__________________________________________________________

"OI! Deidara~c-ch-chan! Get me Itachi's...iced tea" *dramatic music*

"*gasp!* that's a really dangerous mission!"

"I kno! but you must for the sake of the story!"

"But I don't care about th-"

"SHHHH!!!!!! you don't want _them_ to hear you! do you?"

"ppphhht! what can _they_ do to me?"

"remember what happened to Kakazu?"

" 0.o ....oh Jasshin~Sama....FAN GIRLS!" *more dramaticer music,(garanteed 1% more dramatic than before) started playing*

" Remember the last time they found us? we had to move the 'Secret Base' *bunny ears* at least 7 tomes before we lost them."Madara reminded his 'sempai' *more bunny ears! fear their wrath!!! :D *

........

"Heeey! Mada~chan! I though we were gonna have a flash back! Where is it?",Deidara whined

"Do you kno how expensive those things are? ever since Zetsu started handling our monies,things like Jojo started happening! And we became...BANKRUPT!!!!!!"

"....wasn't this chapter supposed to be about life with Jojo? What happened to that?" The second Tobi staed while scratching his head.

"You have a point there...but what about my iced tea?! Deidara! weren't you sposed to get that? if you don't then all the dramaticness of the dramatic music will go to waste!",Madara started shaking the blonde around.

"Nay! Sayseth teh horsay!",Jojo marched into teh room,"Yoyo! sup doggies!!!!"

"Oh Jasshin...GET AWAY FROM ME YOU OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!",Madara pushed Deidara in front of him and used him as a sheild.

"But Mada~chan! you're older than Jojo!" Deidei pointed out.

"Mada~Chan! Deidei~Sempai has a point!" Tobi stared into space thinking about...iunno something!

"Waiteth justeth one secondeth! Beforez weza continuez on we must sorteth out teh whole 2 different Tobi stuff.",Jojo glared at them

"It's simple! We're both teh same but ima acting like who i really am which is Uchiha Madara and the clone of me is still acting like Tobi...mhmm!",Madara just sat there nodding like a weirdo while giving a creepy smile that creeps give when they tempt children with candy.

_______________In Itachi's room_________________________________

"...My sugar senses are tingling! Someone wants my iced tea with a tripple shot of sugar! Kisama~chan! Time to get our defenses ready!!! :D ",Itachi started running around like a maniac pushing buttons that activated horrible laser beams that would KO a level100. pokemon in an instant.

"But that iced tea is what keeps Itachi~chan from going...hey! wait just one second here!"Kisame got a very suspicious grin on his face while Itachi stopped dead in his tracks. (okay not litterally dead or all his fangirls would kill meh! *shiver* fan girls....hey! im one too...)

"What is it Kisame~chan?????", a sickeningly sweet smile crept across his face that looked just like the Grinches when he thought of some plan to take away Christmas or something.

"Aren't you supposed to be bli-"

Quickly covering his mouth Itachi hissed into Kisame's ear,"**Listen Bub! I reeeeaally don't like being blind, so if you want to see** **tomorrow I suggest you keep your mouth shut and maybe** _they_ **won't remember"**

**"**okay!" ,Kisame squeeked and started pushing buttons too.

______________In the Kitchen____________________________________

"**We're hungry...Konan~chan? **Do you kno where the chocolate covered tofu is?",Zetsu questioned as he looked through the fridge.

"Me thinks it's in...the empty can that Pain has...lol! potato shrimp!",Konan pranced away through the hallways to her room with a waffle in her mouth.

"I'll help ya looksies Zetsu~chan!" Hidan jumped out of the fridge and glomped Zetsu....once again...HOW DO THEY DO THAT?!

_______________END OF TEH CHAPPIE 'O DOOM!!!!__________________

**Me: so...iunno kno what'll happen next...i have a couple of ideas but i'll have to think it over...**

**Tobi: Tobi jr! you shoule get rid of Jojo~san! He scares me!**

**Itachi: That was a waste of everyone's time...there should have been more ME in it...**

**Kisame: *drags Itachi away***

**Deidara:...**

**Me: Until next time! :D**

**NEXT TIME!: AN EXCITING...IUNNO!!!!!!! NOW GO EAT CHYA WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!**


	5. Horrible Ham Demon!

**Me: Heeeeeeeelllllllllooooooooooooo children.**

**Jojo: Nouzeth! that's meh only linez thi-**

**Deidara: i wanna raise in meh salary un.**

**Tobi: NO!!! BAD SEMPAI! *whips Deidara***

**Deidara: TOBI!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR HMM?! IM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!! **

**Tobi: b-but sempaiiiiiii you were starting-**

**Me: NOUZ!!!! TOBI IS A VERY BAD BOY!!!!! NOBODY I REPEAT **_**NOBODY**_** WHIPS DEIDARA!!!!!!!!!! **

**Tobi: *sob* **

**Me: awww...I'm sorry Tobi *gives cookie* Tobi's a very good boy.**

**Itachi: ...do I even **_**want **_**to know?**

**Deidara: No no you don't...so 'Tobi Jr' (more bunny ears) **_**still **_**dosn't own Naruto or Akatsuki...sucks to be you.**

**Me:...TnT**

**____________________________________________________________**

"It's not in herezies,Zetsu~chan!!!",Hidan put Pain back on the floor where he continued to lay while muttering something about horrible old men wrinklez.

"...**B-but Hidan chaaaaan! i needz it!...**You don't even remember what it is exactly that we're looking for do you?**...0.o...umm...TOBI'S WEARING A TUTU!!!!!!!!!",**The black half of Zetsu pointed in the other direction which was weast...you don't kknow what weast is? oh well! The black half of Zetsu split apart from his white half while everyone was looking weast.

"NOOOO!!! YOU DUMMY! NOW THAT WE SPLIT WE CAN'T REATTACH UNLESS WE HAVE...Itachi's iced tea...dundundun!!!!!!"

**"BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! NOW I SHALL BE KNOWN AS .............FRED!!!!!!!!!"**

"What kind of name is Fred? I SHALL BE KNOWN AS SASORI JR!!!!!!!!!",The newly named Sasori Jr aka: Zetsu's white half ran away to Narnia.

**"Oh like Sasori Jr is any better?",**Fred muttered under his breath.

_______In Sasori's room_________________________________________

Waffle,the random news reporter who just happened to poof into Sasori's room,quickly hid herself in his roomate's closet...not very smart of her...

"Hey! wait for me!!!!",Honey,the camera man hid with Waffle in the closet.

"Are we live?",Waffle whispered as she prepared herself

"Yup!"

"What was that?! Dei~chan!!!!!!! there's a boogie man in your closet!!!!!",Sasori yelled into the hallway,"Dei~chan?! Where are you?!"

"Hey? what's this?",Honey picked up one of Deidara's clay birds.

"Put that down!",Waffle knocked the bird out of his hands....0,o

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* (thank Jasshin~Sama there was no more clay in Dediara's closet at the time ." )

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEAM SASORI'S BLAST'N OFF AGAIN!!!!!!!!!",Sasori flew through the air into Itachi's room....

______________In The Living Room________________________________

"I'm telling you Deidara,you'll be fine if you take this chainsaw with you!",Madara shoved a HUGE chainsaw of destructiony doom into Deidara's hands.

"B-but! Itachi~chan's very protective of his iced tea! he'll tear me to shreds before i can ever even see it!",The blonde whimpred.

"FINE! Take Tobi with you! you can use him as a destraction..."

"Yayz! :3 Tobi actually get's to do something!!",Tobi started jumping around Deidara.

"Let us go,Tobi~chan!"

"suckers...kukuku...",Madara snickered whilst he ate a Snicker chocolate bar.

__________In the Hallway________________________________________

"Wow! That horrrible Ham Demon was well...horrible! Ima just glad that you used your Tobi powers in that huge intergalactic war in the kitchen other wise we woulda be deadzies by now Tobi~chan!"

".....*groan* seeempai...ima at my limits....my Super Tobi Powers Of Awesomeness take alot of my mana points and some health points too..."

"Poor Tobi~chan!",Deidara looked at the stats display floating above Tobi and saw he only had 20hp left and 0 mana points,"...oh...wow...anyways we're almost there...." Deidara and Tobi were 3 feet from Itachi's door when *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEAM SASORI'S BLAST'N OFF AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!",Sasori flew past them breaking down Itachi's door only to be horribly electricuted by Itachi's laser feild.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW YOU PIGGIES WERE AFTER MY ROBOT BEE!!!!!!!!!!!",Itachi appeared out of nowhere holding Kisame on a leash.

"Ummm...Itachi~chan....we weren't after you're robot bee..."

"Oh you weren't? ....oh....well...umm...yeaaaaaah...this is kinda akward..."

"MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! BUT I WAS AFTER YOU'RE ROBOT BEE THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!! YOU PEOPLE THOUGHT I WAS KISAME! BUT NO! IM...",'Kisame' stood up throwing away the color," I'M SASORI JR!"

"...",everyone just stared...just then the Horrible Ham Demon bursted through Itachi's wall

"....oh wow...I THOUGHT TOBI KILLED YOU!!!!??????? YOU HORRIBLE HAM DEMON!!!!!!!",Deidara started throwing a hissy fit on the ground in front of Tobi.

"OH JASSHIN~SAMA!!!!!!!!!",picking up the HUGE Chainsaw Of Destuctiony Doom from Deidara Itachi started wildly swinging it around and the Horrible Ham Demon who was jumping around crashing through the surrounding walls.

"ooh! that's gonna hurt tomorrow!",Hidan stated as a big chunk of wood got lodged in his head.

Sasori Jr hurried over and grabbed the robot bee that Itachi dropped.

"Whateth is going oneth?"Jojo walked into the room,"OMG...wha-" at that very moment a radioactive Santa popped out of nowhere and bit Jojo,"GYAYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!",Jojo fell over.

....no one noticed or cared about Jojo.......

Honey and Waffle slowly krept out of Sasori's room,"Oh! Yes! a huge fight for us to tape!"

Honey gave the okay signal.

"Hello and good afternoon. I'm Waffle Minrow live here at...where are we? oh well...so anyways we're here live at...just look at this!"

____________In The Living Room________________________________

"Oi! Pain snap out of it!",Madara kicked Pain in the face.

"ouch! it's MY popcorn Madara~chan!"

"...*sweat drop* "

*a series of horrible shouts,crys,explosions,radioactive santas and ...Konan's room being smashed and blown up and many other disturbing noises could be heard from a mile away*

Pain bolted up,"Madara~Chan. We HAVE to get out of here before Deidara's secret stash of cla-"

***BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!! KABLAM!!!!!!! POPTARTS!!!!!!***

**The rest is censored for you're protection and the author is too lazy to write it**

A rondom Government Official came over to the Akatsuki base and saw instead of their house a HUGE crater with all the members scattered around in various places knocked out cold."OMG....",The random man ran away leaving a piece of paper behind.

_________One Hour Later_______________________________________

Pain was the first to wake up. He took one look around and fainted again.

The piece of paper from the Government person came floating down magically and landed on Tobi's mask covered face which comehow woke him up. Tobi sat up and started reading the paper,"blah blah bah! Oi Sempai! You awake?"

"What is it Tobi~chan?"

"Tobi dosn't under stand what this means...."

"Oh...This says............OMJ!!!!!!!!!!"

Pain immedietly woke up from the screaming Deidara and rushed over took the paper from his hands took one look and yelled soo loud everyone else woke up and lazily walked over to the source.

"What is it Pain?",Madara asked.

"W-w-we're.....h-h-homeless...."

everyone but Jojo started gasping and freaking out. Jojo who now had super powers and an eerie radioactive glow around him teleported over and read the rest of the paper...,"YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_DearAkatsuki,_

_We are pleased to say that you are being kicked out of you're home_

_because of noise complaints and people going missing around there._

_You guy's are now officially h-o-m-e-l-e-s-s. Good day to you._

_Love,Konoha's Government People._

_ps: is hired to be on our Government force. He will _

_be picked up immedietly for training and to receive his own _

_private residence in the heart of Konoha._

_________end of chappie________________________________________

**Me: LOL!**

**Tobi: i don't wanna be a magical hobo...**

**Deidara:...**

**Itachi: where's my choclate?**

**NEXT TIME: THE LIFE OF AKATSUKI HOBOS!!!!!!!!!!**


End file.
